I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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