Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So much rum. So many feels.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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