thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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