better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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