i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
