he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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