It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
