We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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