I hate all girls vehemently.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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