in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
