Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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