I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
