so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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