Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My bed smells like the plague
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
