Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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