So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
