WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
