I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
wow bdsm is so cute
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
