laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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