Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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