HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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