capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
