okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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