I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
