The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is my gift to your gina
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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