I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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