Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
