sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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