soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
