We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We need to get me chipped asap
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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