Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
