how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Say something about gay babies.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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