how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
