My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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