Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
