No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
