oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
