I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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