If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
