Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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