Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
