My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
