I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
