i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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