AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think i have herpe
just one?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
