My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I use my feet as sexual weapons
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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