I hate your face
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
