he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
