kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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