It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
