You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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